We can never escape stress. We can try to manage it, but it is a part of life. Often we manage it by thinking ahead and being prepared. It is the unseen unplanned stress in our lives that perhaps really tests our resiliency to handle stress. It is the unexpected or uncertainty of life in itself that separates whether you panic, become irritated or have a bad day as a result.
Have you ever wondered why some people remain calm and can flex and bend according to these unexpected life events or day to day changes while others fight their way through day to day changes and exhaust themselves doing it?
What determines our reactions to stress in general has to do with how we think about it, how we respond to change and how resilient we have grown up to be. A note about stress: I am not talking about traumatic stress. Trauma, at any age falls into a different category and if you are suffering from traumatic stress I suggest you refer to may page about trauma.
What I am talking about in this section has to do with your ability and capacity to flow and be flexible with changes that occur on a daily basis. For example, a meeting being canceled, your car breaking down or not starting in the morning or finding yourself without cash in your pocket when you need it. These kinds of things happen to us every day. They throw us out of our intended plans. They unexpectedly can alter an entire day. Some people get angry. Some people become disappointed and it changes their entire mood. Some of us tire quickly, trying to control and/or change the plan to make it work. These are just some of many responses to stress.
People that need to control are more sensitive and self destructive to every day stress and typically suffer from headaches, stomach aches, ulcers, migraines, irritable bowel syndrome, and of course depression and anxiety. If you find yourself unable to be flexible, wanting to control everything around you, and needing a great deal of safety and security in your day to day life, you will be more prone to high stress. If you cannot feel disappointed, let go of things and move on, your stress level increases. In addition if you have difficulty walking through feelings of loss(from small to big), then stress turns to feelings of anxiety and that of depression.
If I am speaking to you, you experience higher levels of stress than the average person. We must move through inconveniences, cancellations, disappointments and unplanned occurrences with mild shifts in our mood. However if you find yourself collapsing under them on a chronic basis then this is where psychotherapy will help to build enough resilience to weather the ups and downs of life.